In the first installment of an occasional series, we celebrate with mockery the worst and the weirdest covers in the long history of muscle magazines.

muscle magazine Mike Scarcella

“How to Diet Away your Dandruff” (bodybuilder: Mike Scarcella)

John Grimek

Is that a Grecian column, John, or are you just happy to see me? (bodybuilder: John Grimek)

Tom Platz

“The Bendy Bar: Finally, you can squat without unracking the weight!” (bodybuilder: Tom Platz)

muscle magazine

Dude, my brain is so totally jacked right now.

Mark Gastineau

That time the NFL’s sack leader wore a sports bra kinda thing. (Of course, it was the ’80s.)

muscle magazine

“The Don’t-Do-What-I-Do Routine” (April 1909. Physical Culture was the American fitness magazine then.)

Jim Quinn bodybuilder

Alien chicks dig Earthling muscles. (bodybuilder: Jim Quinn)

Check out Bad Muscle Magazine Covers, Vol. 2 and Great Muscle Magazine Covers, Vol. 1