In the first installment of an occasional series, we celebrate with mockery the worst and the weirdest covers in the long history of muscle magazines.

eyes & snow

“How to Diet Away your Dandruff” (bodybuilder: Mike Scarcella)

Grimek

Is that a Grecian column, John, or are you just happy to see me? (bodybuilder: John Grimek)

bendy squat

“The Bendy Bar: Finally, you can squat without unracking the weight!” (bodybuilder: Tom Platz)

weird brain

Dude, my brain is so totally jacked right now.

Gastineau

That time the NFL’s sack leader wore a sports bra kinda thing. (Of course, it was the ’80s.)

fat

“The Don’t-Do-What-I-Do Routine” (April 1909. Physical Culture was the American fitness magazine then.)

space

Alien chicks dig Earthling muscles. (bodybuilder: Jim Quinn)

Check out Bad Muscle Magazine Covers, Vol. 2 and Great Muscle Magazine Covers, Vol. 1