In the first installment of an occasional series, we celebrate with mockery the worst and the weirdest covers in the long history of muscle magazines.

“How to Diet Away your Dandruff” (bodybuilder: Mike Scarcella)

Is that a Grecian column, John, or are you just happy to see me? (bodybuilder: John Grimek)

“The Bendy Bar: Finally, you can squat without unracking the weight!” (bodybuilder: Tom Platz)

Dude, my brain is so totally jacked right now.

That time the NFL’s sack leader wore a sports bra kinda thing. (Of course, it was the ’80s.)

“The Don’t-Do-What-I-Do Routine” (April 1909. Physical Culture was the American fitness magazine then.)

Alien chicks dig Earthling muscles. (bodybuilder: Jim Quinn)